Lebanon, TN Photographer | News! {Personal}

 

In the last 15 days of 2013 so much has happened.  I don’t know what it is about a new year that makes me feel like I can conquer the world.  It feels like there is more hope, more life, more optimism.  2013 is it.  The end of 2012 was supposed to be the year of simplicity… well I don’t know if I achieved that. I did in a sense, by taking time to run more, working less, and spending more time with my husband, friends, and family.  But 2012 ended in a complete whirlwind! Who are we kidding, the last 3 years have been a confusing and hard path.  Let me explain.

We have always wanted a family.  Always. Throughout our relationship (Scott and I have been together 10 years now!), we always spoke of what our family would look like, how many kids, how far a part, boys or girls or one of each.  We had the best time talking about the future, the potential, the excitement of a child, the busyness that it will bring, the love that we will feel.  I could go on and on at the longing to be a parent. After we were married just about a year and a half, we decided we were ready.  Ready to grow our family.  Ready for our hearts to grow and expand to love another person far more than we thought was possible. After a difficult year of no success, we started getting some fertility help.  We got pregnant right away.  Immediately, we could not contain our excitement. We started talking about how we would tell our family, talking names, picking nursery colors! We were overjoyed at the possibilities.  However, just one week later, we lost our baby.  Within 13 months, we had 3 miscarriages.  It is hard to describe the loss, the grief, the emptiness we both felt.  After the third loss, we decided to go to an expert to find out if there was a simple explanation to why this continued to happen.  There wasn’t a simple explanation.  I have a disease that causes infertility and early miscarriages. Wow, was that hard to hear, and after trying for another 6 months, we stepped back, cried, breathed, prayed, I ran (a lot!), and prayed some more.  Asking God to show us what he wanted our family to look like, to quit focusing on what WE wanted our family to look like.  At that moment we listened, and we realized that there is a far better plan for us.  His plan and now our plan looks the same.  We want to adopt.  We want to change our lives in such an amazing way, and we cannot wait to see what it looks like.  I am the type of person that once my heart commits to something, I am in, like all in.  I might have a lot of faults, but God’s greatest gift that He gave me is the ability to love, the ability to care with my whole heart.  And that is just what I will do for this baby.  Not flesh or my flesh, or bone of my bone, but still miraculously my own.  I truly believe that to the core.  It doesn’t matter what our family looks like, it is OUR family, and it will be remarkable.

(please don’t judge these pictures! Timer, tripod, at 7:00am and taken in about 4 minutes!)

 We have been working for an AMAZING adoption agency out of Murfreesboro, TN called Heaven Sent Children.  Stephanie has been such a blessing as she has walked us step by step through this process.  She has been optimistic, encouraging, and excited to be apart of our journey.  We are excited about this journey.

We have been getting a TON of questions about our process.  But the main questions is how long or when, and we have no idea.  It could be 2 months to 2 years. We are looking at both domestic adoption and looking into adopting through Korea.  When it comes to which, we are very torn.  Neither me or Scott have a strong pull either way, so we are just waiting.  Waiting to see what comes across our path, and hoping when it does come, we will find our answer, find our heart.  Either our heart lies inside an amazing, selfless birth mom or a sweet angel waiting across the world.  We are excited! Waiting with great anticipation.  Praying for patiences as we wait a little longer for our family to start.

Scott and I are completely blown away at the love and support of our family and friends.  We have shed so many tears, but now we are shedding tears of joy as we start this journey of anticipation and joy.  We potentially have a long road ahead of us.  We are so thankful for the support of everyone around us as we are on this journey of faith, hope, and love!