It is amazing how much my attitude changes from week to week on our adoption journey. I truly feel bipolar somedays. Some days I wake up full of hope, excitement that THIS day will be the day for good news. Just like I wrote about last post. And I would say that most days are filled with feelings of hope and anticipation. However, Sunday and Monday were two days not filled with hope and excitement. But two days filled with tears, sadness, and doubt. To say that adoption is not for the faint of heart is a total understatement. And today, this week, I am struggling. Struggling to focus on hope. Struggling with patience. Struggling with peace. I just want my baby in my arms. To hear his voice, to fill this void aching in my heart and arms, to see him not through pictures or video, but to be in the same room with him. For us to look into each others’ eyes. Days like the last few days, I try to remind myself that we are on the final stretch. That more and more families are “moving out of our way” by getting their own court dates. But everyday that goes by when we hear nothing… my heart just aches a little more…
Not to be all gloomy today… We are hearing LOTS of movement. LOTS of court dates. And we HOPE to hear some news in the next 2 weeks to WHEN our court date will be. We haven’t been told to expect news. Just comparing our timeline to every other family with our agency. We HOPE that by Christmas, we will have something exciting to share. We may not be there yet, but we are closer than we were yesterday.
by Rebecca Walker
Jennie - You have been on mind ALL day!!! It is coming….I feel it! I mean you know it is, but yes, today you are closer then you were yesterday. You, Scott, Davis, the government, and everyone involved continue to be in our prayers and will until he comes home! I Love You!
Kristie - Rebecca, I lurk here weekly. But tonight I want to tell you are doing wonderfully with your wait. There will be a day when you look back on these days and they will seem like a blurry, distant memory. You are right, adoption is not for the faint of heart. Even now I bristle when people tell me that we had our children the “easy” way. You are laboring for Davis at this very moment and it will not be much longer until he will be in your arms. Stay strong, mama!